Office Characters, Cubicles + The Top 5 Ways to Annoy Your Coworkers With Words

Some things are universal in offices.  Every office I’ve worked in has, at its core, the same “characters”.  This is why the characters in the TV show The Office or the movie Office Space feel so familiar.  Office Characters are ubiquitous*.  So are Annoying Coworkers.  Here are a few examples:

  • Those who forward you all kinds of junky email
  • Those who won’t shut up about their kids (guilty!)
  • Those who cook stinky food in the microwave (fish, burnt popcorn, I’m looking at you!)
  • For 50/% of you – those who email about the kitchen messes
  • For the other 50% of you – those that make the messes in the first place

(See here  for more office facts.)   

Cubicles!

In the Old Days, office workers had offices; but as more and more office workers needed a pc and desk, the Cubicle Farm was born. 
        *See
here for the fascinating History of the Cubicle. 

I know you didn’t sign up to have roommates as an adult, but this is pretty close.  (Actually, you probably didn’t even spend 8 hours a day with your roommates when you had them.)  Here is a handy guide for surviving cubicle life, in terms of the 5 senses.  (Ok, there are more than just 5, but humour me, ok?):   

Click to embiggen.

click to embiggen

*If you find yourself fantasizing about non-cubicle jobs, think again.

More on Cubicles:

 

Bonus:  The Top 5 Ways to Annoy Your Coworkers with Words:

  1. Make up words – “irregardless!”
  2. Use too many buzzwords – “synergy!” “paradigm shift!”
  3. Gratuitously use the same word – “Ok” “Like” “Know what I mean?”
    Use acronyms not everybody knows
    – “Yes, Tom.  I’d love to hear how you’re planning to reach your S.M.A.R.T. goals.
  4. Nitpick others’ words –  If you have ever corrected someone and insisted that the true Canadian pronounciation of ‘schedule’ is with a ‘sh’ sound, then this is you.  Extra points:  You point out the redundancy in words like PIN number and SIN number (I lose a year off my life every time I hear someone bring that up).
  5. *Use overly complex words when a simple, monosyllabic word will do. 

 

Super Extra Bonus:  List of things to keep at your desk:

  • Mirror – to make sure your lunch of spinach salad with poppy seed dressing is not apparent
  • Tide to go
  • Baby wipes – lots of uses.  Never stop buying them
  • Glasses cleaner
  • Kleenex
  • Band-aids
  • Tylenol/Advil
  • Cough drops
  • Toothbrush
  • Dental floss
  • Mouth wash
  • Anti-static spray
  • Lint brush/roller – nice kitty, messy kitty!
  • Hand lotion
  • Toothbrush
  • Nail file
  • Comb
  • Contact lens solution
  • Safety pins
  • Umbrella
  • Hosiery/Trouser Socks
  • Soup – in case you forget your lunch and/or it’s too cold to go out anywhere
  • Straws
  • Napkins
  • Takeout menus – if you’re really organized, put them in a binder
  • Book/magazine 

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2 Comments »

  1. Brenda said

    So, I see ways to attract people to your cubicle (fancy decor, candy, impressive vocabulary). What I need to know is how to keep people out of mine. I’m considering a moat, razor wire, cream pie catapult, pit bulls, fake vomit . . . any suggestions?

  2. Is there a high-pitched noise only techies can hear?

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